defensive interests
A defensive interest is an interest held by an autistic or ADHD person that they feel particularly protective of. This may prevent them from interacting with discussion/fandom spaces entirely, as seeing others interact with that interest makes them feel threatened and insignificant.
Defensive interests often overlap with special interests and hyperfixations, though this isn't a rule! A person with one defensive interest may like to share their other interests just fine!
DEFENSIVE INTERESTS ARE:
Uncontrollable. You don't choose to have them, and you'd honestly prefer if you didn't Irritating and obstructive to have. Seeing fanart, conversation, or even forum avatars that feature elements from your defensive interest startles youUpsetting. You feel as if you are being cruel or ridiculous for setting boundaries with your friends over your defensive interestStressful. Fandom spaces feel inaccessible to you as you are constantly convinced others are going to try and "one-up" your knowledge or prove themselves superiorAdaptable! With work and clear discussions of boundaries, you can begin to invite friends and family into your defensive interest and ease the stress of interaction
DEFENSIVE INTERESTS ARE NOT:
Possessive or controlling. The issue is held solely within yourself, not the people that make you uncomfortable, and you have no desire to stop other fans from enjoying your interestAn excuse to gatekeep fandom or prevent others from interacting with your interests in their own time. If you do this, you should stop.A special label. It is not something to crown yourself with for the sake of being antisocial or feeling superior to others
WHAT TO DO WITH FRIENDS WHO HAVE
DEFENSIVE INTERESTS
Communicate! Ask them about their boundaries and make sure to follow them to the best of your ability. Some good questions to ask:
Can I talk to you about [interest]? I'm into it too!
Can I send you fanart I find of [interest]?
Can I show you my memes of [interest]?
Often, those with defensive interests still love to share information and content of their own - so let them! Like with any friend's interest, the best thing to do is to listen and talk with them naturally rather than following a strict standard.
If they invite you to watch/play/interact with their interest with them, consider that a victory! They trust you and have deemed you "safe to share with".
The first of many successes, I'm sure!